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When Someone Shows You Who They Are…Don’t Always Believe Them the First Time
Don’t fall prey to victim signaling
On our first date, he showed me who he was — a successful immigration attorney. He regaled me with heroic tales of helping people reunite with their families, and I admired his passion and altruism. Sure, he was very attractive and charming. But that’s not what hooked me. My mom always taught me, “You only find gold when you see into someone’s heart.”
On our second date, he again showed me who he was — a grieved father separated from his wife, going through a contentious divorce. And then he dropped the first cherry bomb…his wife had cheated on him with a close friend.
I took a big sip of my martini. And listened.
A few months ago, he had fallen down the stairs and injured his head. And his wife never cared.
I took a bigger sip. And listened.
His wife never hugged or touched him. She never cooked him a meal or asked about his day.
I downed the rest of my martini and parroted his contempt for his ex. This woman sounded horrid.
I am a sucker for someone’s suffering. When strays appear at my door, I not only invite them in but let them tear up the furniture. So naturally, I felt…