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What Happens When Men Stop Having Sex and Start Wanting Power

For many sexless men, authoritarianism is the last, tinfoil-wrapped lifeline to status.

9 min readAug 17, 2025

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What Happens When Men Stop Having Sex and Start Wanting Power
Pexels | Photo by MART PRODUCTION

I first began writing about the sex recession five years ago, but I never understood sexless men until I met Avery*.

When we were first introduced, I didn't like him. At all. He looked like a Reddit thread made flesh: half beard, half conspiracy. He quoted Jordan Peterson without blinking. He called therapy "emotional outsourcing" and once asked me, sincerely, if climate change was a CIA op to sell metal straws.

Unsurprisingly, Avery hasn't had sex since Obama left office, and if we're being honest, I am not sure he cares anymore.

"I'm conserving energy," he says, like he is trying to spin rejection into a personal virtue.

He still posts on Bumble, if you count four blurry photos of his bathroom mirror and a bio that reads like a threat ("Not into drama. Don't waste my time.”) I've told him — repeatedly — that mirror selfies are only acceptable during apocalyptic events. Like pandemics. Or brunch with your ex.

None of it matters, he says. Because he read a cod psychology book that blames his sex drought on evolution.

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Carlyn Beccia
Carlyn Beccia

Written by Carlyn Beccia

Award-winning author of 13 books. My latest: 10 AT 10: The Surprising Childhoods of 10 Remarkable People, MONSTROUS: The Lore, Gore, & Science. CarlynBeccia.com