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Satire for Some
Trump Derangement Syndrome Is Now an Epidemic
At least 5 million Americans were infected last Saturday. Numbers are increasing. Epidemiologists are worried.
The CDC (all five remaining employees) has issued an emergency alert following a massive outbreak of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) across all 50 states. The surge appears to have been triggered by the historic No Kings protest, in which over five million Americans took to the streets — the largest protest in U.S. history.
Infected Americans are exhibiting alarming symptoms, including spontaneous chanting, a severe allergic reaction to fascism, and — most alarmingly — a desire to quote the U.S. Constitution.
The spread has been too swift to contain. Experts believe the virus was first transmitted through immigrant and trans populations, then became airborne through contact with banned books, pronouns, DEI initiatives, and prolonged exposure to Rachel Maddow. In extreme cases, patients have developed empathy, nuanced political opinions, or sudden urges to fact-check their racist uncle.
Some physicians have even reported cases in which TDS victims go to protests one gender and come home another.
