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There Are Only 4 Love Languages, Not 5
Why we need to stop calling physical touch a love language
From the moment we take our first gasps of air, we hunger for touch. And out of all our senses, touch is the only one that does not decrease with age. From the cradle to the grave, we never lose the power of touch.
But what happens when you are deprived of physical touch?
To answer this question, psychologist Harry Harlow conducted some ethically disturbing experiments. Using baby Rhesus monkeys as his test subjects, he isolated the newborns for months in a dark, windowless cage he called the “pit of despair.”
When the monkeys were released from isolation, they were mentally deranged. Some just rocked back in forth and refused food. Others were aggressive and attacked the other monkeys. Many self-mutilated by tearing out their hair and biting their legs. All lost their ability to socialize.
In another experiment, he gave the isolated baby monkeys a wire surrogate mother and a terry-cloth mother. The wire monkey mother fed the babies milk through a bottle-feeding mechanism. The terry-cloth mother provided no milk but was soft and cuddly.
Guess which fake mother the monkeys preferred?
