The 7 Deadly Conversation Sinners — Which One are You?

Let’s role-play these conversation blunders and fix them.

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

I had a therapist once who had a few sharp edges. One day, I was in a session with Miss Ratched* when I word vomited a long-winded rant about a friend. This friend was IMO, screwing up her life, so I offered her some meaningful advice. My friend did not appreciate it.

I took a deep breath and asked my usual rhetorical question, “What an asshole, right?” Miss Ratched’s reply was not what I was expecting.

“Yes, you are an asshole.”

“Wait…excuse me. I am the asshole?”

“Yes, you are. Did your friend ask for your advice?”

“Well, ummmm….not exactly.”

Miss Ratched then gave me a gentle lecture on being a better listener, empathizing FIRST, and, most importantly,…not giving advice when someone did not ask for it.

I still struggle with this one. When someone voices a grievance, my knee-jerk reaction is to fix the problem, fix the person, and then pull together a bulleted, color-coded action plan to improve their life.

This is really annoying.

But other conversation sins can make your lover or friend feel equally unheard. Let’s role-play an…