Jessica, I love this. Anyone who writes/reads self-improvement should read this and remind themselves of these pitfalls. (I am guilty of forgetting these too.)

You have pretty much already said this but it boils down to one problem - self-improvement should focus more on self-acceptance.

And I don’t mean throwing up your hands and proclaiming you can’t change. I mean accepting that the world is a shitty and unfair place filled with shitty and unfair people. But if you can keep that pessimism as your frame…you might see the picture clearer. Or at least come up with a more realistic plan to make it better.

This is why I am drawn to more cynical philosophers - Schopenhauer, Kierkegaard, Montaigne, etc. They would have laughed their butts off at our self-help industry.