I am not implying abusive behavior should be met with politeness. In fact, I find the best way to shut an abuser down is to immediately say, “Sir, you are being abusive.”

But let’s not conflate two very separate issues. The reason the term “toxic masculinity” becomes problematic is that it serves as a catchall label for what is really “confused masculinity.” Again, I am asking women to understand the experiences of men so we can better communicate our differences. I will never suggest that bad behavior should be condoned.