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How to Bribe an American President Without Spending $400 Million
Forget flying palaces. You only need a dragon and a bugged soccer ball.
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President Trump says he knows “the best words.” And by “best,” he means “words that didn’t exist until he said them with the total confidence of an Etch-A-Sketch with a traumatic brain injury. Words like, “covfefe,” “bigly,” and “yo-Semite.”
He even boasted that he brought back the word “groceries.” Which is great news, because apparently there was a period during the Biden administration when America gave up on food entirely.
But my favorite in his dementia comeback tour is his recent claim that he “invented the word equalize.” Invented it. Move over, Shakespeare, the Oxford English Dictionary, and 400 years of recorded human speech.
Next week, he will claim he coined the word “air” and slap a tariff on it.
But among all his linguistic masterpieces, there’s still one word that never crosses his oily lips:
Emolument.
It sounds like something Gwyneth Paltrow would sell in a jade suppository. And yet, it’s also the one word in the…
