Hi E, That was another reader responding. I am never that prickly unless I have had 5 cups of coffee. 😉I understood your euphemism.

The reason why I would avoid this question is it implies that the abused was at fault and feels like your typical blame the victim. Nor would I run from someone who has suffered abuse. Plenty of abuse survivors go on to be loving partners. Still, this article is about first dates and that is a discussion for a later time and preferably with a licensed therapist.

If someone is disclosing abuse on a first date, I would be concerned they are not telling the full truth. Most survivors of abuse are reluctant to talk to friend and family so a complete stranger is suspicious.

But let’s assume you are already friends with your date, I would ask future focused questions about how they are coping to understand where they are in their healing process. And I definitely would encourage a therapist.